Agnes and the Hitman

Version: Unabridged
Author: Jennifer Crusie , Bob Mayer
Narrator: Sandra Burr
Genres: Fiction & Literature
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Published In: August 2007
# of Units: 10 CDs
Length: 12 hours
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Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett, and you've got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love… Agnes Crandall's life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she's staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane - no last name, just Shane - and he has his own problems: He's got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn't so little, that his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes's house, and that his last hit was a miss, Shane's life isn't looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hitmen show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with the intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and - most dangerous of all - each other.

Reviews (4)

Written by Tara Strick on September 20th, 2015

  • Book Rating: 5/5

I loved this book, & the narration was good too. The humor, & relationships cracked me up. I read this book before & wanted to listen to it. It's not like listening to a movie but it's better than your own brain.


Written by Jackie on February 7th, 2013

  • Book Rating: 5/5

This book was awesome! It was hilarious, but with the right amount of seriousness to it also... if that makes any sense. I would recommend it!

Agnes & the Hitman

Written by Sue on June 4th, 2012

  • Book Rating: 5/5

I thought this a great read! So Funny & intertaining.. Even to laughing out load at times No the back ground voice wasn't great.. couldn't hear it at times.. and yes Cds were a mess even on a replacement copy they sent me but all in all I loved the story & will read more from her.

Too Many Things Wrong with this Book!

Written by Sillee in SD from San Diego, CA on March 17th, 2010

  • Book Rating: 1/5

I don't even know where to start with this book. When I first received it, I was excited to see that there were 10 CD's! After the first one, I was thinking "wow, really, 9 more I have to listen to?" The main character, Cranky Agnus was entirely too whiny about love and being hurt. She had some funny parts about her but for the most part, I couldn't seen anything great about this heroine. The narrator did a lousy job with the characters; no no passion or energy and they seemed to blend together. I disliked use of "background thinking". Whenever the characters had a thought in their head, the voice was softened and you couldn't hear what they were saying, unless you had the volume all the way up. Many scratches on all CD's, made for a frustrating read. CD's skipped in several places and I had to pass through tracks to find a reasonable response. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.

Author Details

Author Details

Crusie, Jennifer

Jenny Crusie was born in Wapakoneta, a small Ohio town on the banks of the Auglaize River. She graduated from Wapakoneta High School and earned her bachelor's degree from Bowling Green State University in Art Education. She married in 1971 and lived briefly in Wichita Falls, Texas, until her air force husband was transferred to Dayton, Ohio.

Mollie as a babyJenny taught pre-school until her daughter, Mollie, was born. When she returned to work, she taught in the Beavercreek public school system for ten years as an elementary and junior high art teacher while earning a master's degree from Wright State University in Professional Writing and Women's Literature; her master's thesis was titled “A Spirit More Capable of Looking Up To Him: Women's Roles in Mystery Fiction 1841-1920.”

She took a leave of absence from Beavercreek in 1986 to complete her Ph.D. coursework at Ohio State University in feminist criticism and nineteenth century British and American literature. She returned to teach high school English (American and British literature surveys, mythology, the Bible in literature, and college composition) for another five years, and during this time she also directed theater tech crews (sets and costumes) for the Beavercreek Drama Department.

In the summer of 1991, she began to research her dissertation on the impact of gender on narrative strategies, searching out the differences in the way men and women tell stories. As part of the research, she planned to read one hundred romance novels and one hundred men's adventure novels. The romance novels turned out to be so feminist and so absorbing, that she never got to the men's adventure fiction and decided to try writing fiction instead, quitting her job the following spring to devote herself full time to writing and to finishing the Ph.D., one of her riskier moves since she didn't sell her first book until August of '92.

The sale was to Silhouette, a novella titled Sizzle, that Jenny now refers to as “really lousy.” Silhouette delayed its publication so that it became the second book published under the Crusie pseudonym, Jenny's maternal grandmother's family name. Although Silhouette rejected Jenny's next novel, Harlequin accepted it and published it in 1993 as Manhunting in their Temptation line. Five more Harlequins followed, including Getting Rid of Bradley which won the RWA Rita Award for Best Short Contemporary, Strange Bedpersons, What the Lady Wants, Charlie All Night, and Anyone But You. She also wrote two category novels for Bantam's Loveswept line, The Cinderella Deal and Trust Me On This. During this time she put the PhD on hold to earn an MFA in fiction from OSU; her thesis was titled, Just Wanted You To Know, and consisted of several short stories and the proposal for a mainstream novel titled Crazy For You. During this time she also wrote a book of literary criticism on Anne Rice, published under the name Jennifer Smith.

Jenny todayIn the fall of 1995, Jenny began to write single title novels for St. Martin's Press where she very happily remains to this day. She is especially delighted to be working with her editor, Jennifer Enderlin, her agent Meg Ruley, and her daughter/business partner, Mollie Smith.

Today, in many ways, Jenny has come full circle. She collaborates with Bob Mayer on romantic adventure novels, putting into practice everything she studied about the differences in the way men and women write fiction in that long ago PhD dissertation, and she is once again living on the banks of an Ohio river. Her solo novels continue to explore women's journeys, especially issues dealing with relationships, friendships, community, and creativity, and her collaborations with Bob and others give her the opportunity to explore those same things in real life. She is a very fortunate woman, and she knows it.

Mayer, Bob

Mayer is a West Point graduate, Special Forces veteran. He also writes under the pen name Robert Doherty.